Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A battle of epic proportions


Lately there has been some debate among a few select people in my life of who would be left standing in an epic battle between Jason Bourne and Batman. Now, I love Batman as much as the next girl, but if it comes right down to it, I'm pretty sure Bourne would come out victorious. Now, in order to prove this, I have gathered some neutral and very extensive research for you to consider.

(click chart to enlarge)

Here is how I envision it going down: Batman and Jason Bourne meet in a dark alley. While Batman is waiting for Bourne to monologue, Bourne uses a trash can lid and a discarded turkey-leg to pummel Batman and take his utility belt. When Batman goes for his Batarang to finish off Bourne, Bourne delivers a swift kick to Batman's neck-bone. Bourne then takes Batman's wallet and looks in it. Bourne discovers that Batman is, in fact, Bruce Wayne. He tells Wayne that he knows where he lives; and if he tries to follow him he will "bring the fight to Wayne Manor." Bourne then mounts the bat-pod motorcyle (to go finish off the joker) and rides a wheelie down the street while this plays in the background.

Now, you may agree and you may not. Either way, go vote for the ultimate winner here.


Rhonda L. Thomas said...

Full concurrence!!!!

While Batman stands and broods about mankind, Bourne is busy kicking its butt and silently broods on his way to the next butt kicking.

Batman tries to reconcile his Batman self with his Bruce Wayne self. Bourne reconciles his two selves on his way to yet ANOTHER butt kicking.

Yes, I think it's clear who is the winner ... more examples will be provided if one needs more proof.

My husband, Mike, seems to be of the mind that they are equal in skill, but Batman has more stuff. He also is of notion that Vanessa just likes Matt Damon more than she likes Christian Bale.

Amylouwho said...

um, that was the FUNNIEST thing I have read in a long time!!!

Although you make a very good argument - for me the real question is Matt v. Christian.

Christian every time.

y0hmama said...

So Jason Bourne!!! Of course, after reading your little chart there, I'm even more convinced of my original opinion. I do like Batman but really, there is no contest :)

Irish said...

I am afraid I am a huge Batman Fan !!! ... And Christian Bale is just yummy so that would definately get my vote ... And he is also playing John Connor as well ..... ( Sigh )

allyn said...

was this an assignment from your defense against the alter ego professor? if so, and if i were the professor, i would give you high marks for the spreadsheet and for the conclusion. both of them use tricks that are just too fast to catch on video and are therefore questionable as to whether or not they are actually doing what they seem to be doing.
i think i like that bourne has to fight more realistic villains, though. put me down for bourne.