The Vanessa Contessa: June 2008

Monday, June 30, 2008

Vanity has a price....

...and mine is 4 hours at the DMV.

I have lived in California now for 4 years and have been well aware to two facts since I arrived; 1.) That I would now be residing in the state of California and should have proper ID and 2.) That my Virginia driver's license would expire on June 30, 2008. Neither of these very important facts, however, were important enough to get me to go to the DMV for my new license until the VERY last day possible. Why, you ask? Sheer vanity. I LOVED my old photo. I looked so cute; perky and spunky with a nice summer tan and long shiny hair. I was proud of that photo. I internally thanked the little old lady who worked the stationary camera at the Fair Oaks DMV branch every time I had to produce identification.
When I moved here the first thing I thought was "Oh no, now I'm going to have to give up my cute photo!" Imagine my relief when I saw my license didn't expire until 2008. That seemed ages and ages away. I'd eventually get to it, right? Then, last week I realized time had run out. I had no choice, it was time move on.

I mourned my old license as I drove to the DMV this morning in grave silence. It was when I pulled into the parking lot at 7:45 am (15 minutes before they even open) did I understand the consequences of my procrastination. The line to enter was alread wrapped around building TWICE. The last day of the month (and a Monday no less) seemed to be peak hours. If I hadn't been so vain, I could have taken care of this (quite literally) years ago. I could have made an appointment even! But nooooooo, I had to keep that picture as long as I could. Lucky for me I brought at book to pass the time, unluckily I did not realize they would need an original copy of my marriage license to issue my new ID, so I at one point got to go back home, get my marriage license and then start over. Eventually, I made it up to the window, over to the camera, and (twice through) the test taking area. I'd love to say that the DMV employees were ridiculously slow or dimwitted and caused me all kinds of aggrevation, but it's simply not true. They were courteous and nice and helpful and really I had no one but myself to blame for being one of the lucky people to grace the DMV halls on the last day of the month.

It's done, its over. I feel complete in my grieving process and no longer need to hold on to my photo of yesteryear. From what I can tell, this picture isn't too bad; it's no nice old lady picture from the Fair Oaks Branch--but I'm sure it will do. Of course, we can't reach a final conclusion until my license arrives in a week to ten days-- wish me luck!

Friday, June 27, 2008

30

Yesterday it happened. I turned 30. No, the world did not stop turning. There were no major earthquakes on the western coast of the United States. I did not get swallowed up in a black hole like vortex of middle agedness. In fact, it turned out to be a pretty mild and enjoyable day.

I do have to say I was not looking forward to this birthday. I don't know why I was being so ridiculous, but I just really didn't want to be 30. It seemed to mean "the end" of it all. Like, "well, I'm 30 and I haven't accomplished X, Y and Z yet, so I guess that's it for me." That kind of the end. Which of course, sends a drama queen like me diving into self destructive questions like, "Why haven't I gotten everything done I said I would when I was 20?" "Have I wasted the prime of my life away?" "Where did the last 10 years go?" "Did I make all the right choices on this path I call life?" "Why do the girls keep messing up this house?" "Seriously, is this house ever clean?" "Why won't my nails grow?" "Why are all my plants dying?" "Are there any more cupcakes left?"

It was not a pleasant few days... When it comes right down to it, I don't really know the answer to any of these questions (well, except for the cupcakes...) and I think last night I realized that's okay. My path in life has not taken me to where I thought it would 10 years ago, it's taken me someplace even better. And there is no reason all the "things" I said would get done by now still can't get done, just on their own time. Most importantly, deep down, past all the things that really don't matter, I feel good about who I am, and that in NOT something I could say 10 years ago. I may not have all the answers, but so far, here's a list of the top 30 things I have learned in the last 30 years:

30. Just because you are a grown up does not mean you have to act like one all the time.
29. Being a big Harry Potter and Twilight nerd is fun -- you should try it with wild abandon.
28. Jem really was truly truly truly outrageous (so were underoos and mc hammer pants.)
27. Riding in very back seat of the school bus is actually NOT cool if you get motion sickness.
26. There is nothing better than a crisp fall day in the Rockies.
25. No matter how old you are, when your really sick you still always want your mom.
24. The ice cream truck song never gets old.
23. Broken hearts always heal (even when it seems like they won't.)
22. Surprisingly, math really is useful.
21. There will always be something to improve, so give yourself a bit of a break.
20. Sometimes the only thing that sounds good for dinner is chocolate.
19. Spending 2 hours making an ipod mix of the soundtrack of your life is never wasted time.
18. Any teacher can get you to pass a class, but a Good teacher will make you want to learn.
17. It is almost impossible to find a perfect pair of jeans.
16. Daydreaming about Mr. Darcy is completely healthy and totally normal.
15. There is no shame in being the smart girl.
14. A simple thing like a camera can help you find your voice and show your soul.
13. The house won't clean itself.
12. But if you wait long enough, the husband will clean it for you :-)
11. 10 seconds of your baby giggling and smiling is worth the hours of crying and screaming.
10. You can never play TOO much princess dress up.
9. It's ok to make a mistake.
8. Sometimes a bridge needs to be burned.
7. That person who seems to have it all probably doesn't.
6. Liver failure feels as awful as it sounds.
5. Your children are always worth "it" (whatever your 'it' may be.)
4. God knows us better than we know ourselves, so just listen to him already.
3. A loving husband who thinks you are priceless and beautiful is the most powerful and wonderful feeling in the world.
2. A handful of friends you know you and love you are better than 10,000 acquaintances.
1. Cupcakes might not be the cure for all the worlds problems, but I think they might be a pretty good place to start.

On a last note. I want to tell all my friends how much then mean to me. You guys are so awesome for thinking I'm so awesome (and if you want to know what I'm talking about, here's the link to the poem they wrote me for my birthday... Ode to Vanessa ) I'm so lucky to have the kind of friends other people search a lifetime for. I love you guys (even if you don't understand how misunderstood Heathcliff is...)

Monday, June 23, 2008

5

5.

She's 5. I don't know why it's so amazing to me, but it is. My little girls is five. She turned 5 last week.

There's something about 5 years that makes it seem really official. I remember feeling the same way 5 years after graduating college, on my 5 year anniversary, and now on my oldest daughter's 5th birthday. I guess I am "officially" a mom. All those years of dirty diapers, stained carpets, sleepless nights and endless rounds of princess dress up seem to finally count for something. Maybe I'm just reeling due to the fact I'm going to be hitting my own major milestone in a few days, but I have been doing a lot of soul searching and 'stock taking' lately. Here's what I've come to realize...

It's been a jam packed (and at times a bit bumpy) 5 years, and Sydney has had to go through it all with me. She's my life, my sweetheart, my little one, my friend. I'm so glad I've hade the opportunity to be with her these past 5 years and I'm even thankful for the sacrifices I have made in my own personal goals and dreams to do so. I don't regret it one bit--even on those typical 'stay at home mom' days when you look at all your old acquaintances, friends, and coworkers reaching new heights and new horizons and wonder what your life has come to. I'm so thankful I've had the opportunity to watch a beautiful, loving (and spirited) little baby girl grow and learn and begin to become a sweet (and still spirited) little lady. I can only humbly hope that I had a bit to do with it and that the Lord is pleased with me as I try my best every day to help her reach her own potential as a beautiful daughter of God.

Sydney will be starting a big adventure in the fall--she's starting kindergarten. I had so many well laid plans for my own life once kindergarten started, and now with it staring at me in the face, I can't help but wish for another year or two...