Mom Personality Disorder

The girl and mom in me are always in confliction. The girl wants to still be the one who sleeps in, wears dry clean only outfits, eat delicious meals sitting down, go on vacations and actually relax; the mom knows it ain't gonna happen. I find my separate personalities in conflict alot more often. Could it be the girl within is giving her last hurrah, or do I have a case of a Mom personality disorder? The evidence is as follows:

There's a spider in the house. When the "mom" is home, she saves the day and squishes it right away. If the "girl" is home she runs away and squeals until Jon comes and squishes it for her.

It's time to get up for the day. When "mom" awakes, she gets up right away and begins to make complete nutritious breakfast for her family; when the "girl" awakes she pretends not to be, hoping Jon will eventually get up and find something for everyone to eat. If that's not possible, she lays in bed until children are literally jumping on top of her and then proceeds to feed her children leftover cupcakes for breakfast.

It's time to do the laundry. The "mom" carefully sorts the colors, pretreats every stain, and of course line dries almost everything. The "girl" decides to ignore that the laundry needs to be done and rummages through all the piles of clothes until she finds something suitable to put her children in for the day. The "girl" has often been known to actually purchase more clothing rather than face the pile of laundry waiting for her at home.

It's time for an activity. The "mom" has carefully planned out a series of crafts and puzzles for her preschooler to do and follows it up by a brisk walk around the neighborhood and tot lot for some much needed exercise and sunshine. The "girl" bribes her preschooler into playing 'beauty shop' which entails her getting her hair brushed for about 45 minutes while she watches the food network or some other worthless daytime TV.

Dinnertime. The "mom" isn't stressed, she started dinner hours ago (you know, in between the laundry and the brisk walk) It's a complete meal that every family member loves and she cleans it up with a smile on her face. The "girl" calls Jon and begs for him to pickup take out yet one more time while she simultaneously microwaves dino nuggets for the littlest members of the household.

Everyone in the house is sick. The "mom" rises to the occasion. She gets up from bed and takes care of everyone else, nursing them back to health and forgetting about her own. The "girl" whines and calls her mommy.


What's the verdict? Am I lost for good, is there no hope to conjoining my separate personalities? Which one will rule out in the end? Only time will tell.