The Pirate Predicament

I learned last week that there are some things you will just never be able to explain to a 4 year old--ever. Sure, your thinking, you'll never be able to explain exactly why cupcakes for dinner really is that bad (come on-- you know you've done it) or why it's important to get out of your pajamas at some point in the day regardless of whether or not you are going out eventually. Nope, I got a doozy last week. I got to try my hand at explaining human trafficking.

Looking back, the cupcake subject seems like a breeze compared to the one I was faced with at (of all places) Disneyland. There we were, enjoying our favorite ride in the park, when all of a sudden something caught Sydney's eye. For any of you familiar with the ride "Pirates of the Caribbean" you might already know the spot I am referring to. In the middle of all the plundering and pillaging, there in an auction going on, for brides. In the scene, several women of all shapes and sizes are lined up and tied together as the pirates bid for their hand. This is not the first time Sydney has noticed the ladies. Normally, she comments about the women being caught or captured, but on this trip, the smart little cookie put it together. I was struck dumb when my sweet little daughter exclaimed, "Mom, they are SELLING those ladies! WHY? Why are they selling them?!"

What's a mom to do? For those of you who don't know my daughter, let's just say that a quick, "I'll tell you later" or a "Just don't worry about it" simply would never suffice. Sydney's tenacity to stay on a subject rivals the fiercest of bulldogs and here I was, on a boat full of strangers in the middle of piratical pickle. Here's the rest of the conversation:

Me: "Well, the pirates want to have brides, so they are buying one."
Syd: "Why do they have to buy one? Can't they go on dates?"
Me: "No, they can't go on dates"
Syd: "Because pirates are too busy?"
Me: "Yes pirates are busy."
Syd: Because they sail in ships?
Me: "Yes. Hey look at those cats!" (1st attempt to divert the conversation)
Syd: "Wow, cats, do the ladies cost a lot of money?"
Me: "I don't know, probably"
Syd: "Do they buy them with treasure?"
Me: "Yes, I think so"
Syd: "Do the ladies have to live on the ships?"
Me: "I don't know Do you see the treasure?" (2nd diverson attempt)
Syd: "Why were the ladies tied up?"
Me: "Because they didn't want them to run away."
Syd: "Why would they run away?"
Me: "Not everybody likes pirates." (we are now exiting the ride)
Syd: "Yeah, I bet pirates like to give princesses a lot of smooches."
Me "They probably do."
Syd: "Can we ride it again? Right now?"
Me: "Absolutely not."


Now, let me say that yes, we will ride "Pirates" again. Heck, its our favorite ride! I mean, come on, who doesn't love pirates? I just hope next time, I won't have to explain any more about the joys of becoming a pirate bride.